When did working with labored breathing become normal?

“You can do your daily work, but can’t you, that is, you can work?the psychiatrist asked.

“Yes, but I can’t breathe.” I said. “Heaviness in the chest, as if a large stone were sitting on it. Each new letter or new work is breathtaking. I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I am anxiously sitting in front of the computer. I thought it would be nice to get a report at least 2-3 days in advance and leave.”

“I’m not sure what will save you 2-3 days … Besides, you work from home”?

“Yes, generally.”

“I think that you do not have a reporting situation, you go to the office a little more and try to communicate. Strengthen relationships at work. You get better with time.”

In a country where even psychiatrists underestimate mental health issues, can we expect our colleagues to understand this? When did working with labored breathing become normal? Do I have to be sick enough to be hospitalized even to get a summary report?

burnout syndrome For the first time it was on our agenda with Meryem Uzerli. At that time he was criticized a lot, I am sure that few people showed sympathy. “What this woman went through on set to make her decide to leave” he thought.

If I say that today I have burnout and anxiety, 90% of the office – Oh, me too… or “It’s yours, and I have it too.” I’m sure you will. They will take it lightly, normalize it. If I speak to upper management “Don’t get too stressed out, watch out!” They will put up a label. My managers are one on one; “If you told us to stop, it was your responsibility, you couldn’t handle it.” he will say. Lately I’ve been realizing this is the support I’ve been looking for in toxic environments I can not find it. I can only support myself.

For a long time I tried to make up for the absence of missing people in the team. In this process “No I can not”. I learned to speak (!) very well, but sometimes I saw that this was not enough. Whenever I go to my manager for prioritization,Listen, come on.I left with an even more complete list. Companies always talk about well-being, there are employee satisfaction surveys, we try not to work overtime whenever possible, but we have to work at least 10-12 hours a day to do the work that should be done “finally”. Isn’t this hypocrisy? Employees need a more balanced work life, not breath sessions or once-a-year luxury hotel stays.

Again, at the time I had a work-related anxiety problem and was able to get a report even though I was not seen outside the office and was known to be ill.”get well dear, we had such a topic“I received messages. Because they work even when they are too sick to make a sound or look up. Just as companies don’t know our value, we don’t know our own value.

Those on my team who knew I was “really” alive told people who asked me that they had the flu. What a pity. To avoid stigmatization and communication with people who lack empathy, I often deliberately hide it. I hope one day we can talk about them freely.

This system is unlikely to change in Turkey, but I learned my share. I figured it out to see the light at the end of the tunnel “hero in me” I need to reveal. So what can this hero do?

Human nature needs to be understood, but in this toxic environment, I began to give up on this search. Let no one understand me, I understand myself. If they don’t take care of me, I’ll take care of myself. I can’t change them, but I can minimize the harm they do to me. I don’t have to fight windmills.

I set clearer boundaries. For example, the week I received the report was a very busy one and it was a period when critical work needed to be completed. What’s happened? Heard without me. Or somehow delayed. So it wasn’t that “urgent” and my existence wasn’t that “irreplaceable” after all.

Here I move on to the next point; Sorry, but we are not as important to our companies as we think. Think of it this way, even people who start companies either sell them to others or hand over control after a while. Probably 10 years ago the company you work for had different teams and then you took over the flag. Temporarily this flag is under your responsibility, but it does not belong to you and will not fall to the ground without you. After some stumbling, the newcomers continue to carry it again. The system is a big puzzle, and we are just a small part of it.

It’s good to be aware of all this, but in order to maintain this awareness, we often need to create space for ourselves to get out of the system. They are very hard to see when working 24/7. It’s good for me to make time for my hobbies, working with myself (therapy, training, yoga, etc.), evening walks after work, and taking vacations completely cut off from work (without checking my emails). Even these short breaks remind me that I am not just “my job”, that my job is just part of my life.

Dalai Lama “Measure your success by what you sacrifice for them.” speaks. In general, I always get high grades for academics, but at the same time, my digestive system has been frustrated for years due to high stress. Now I try to focus not only on the result, but also on the process. Moreover, I see that my criteria for success can change throughout my life. Success for me lately; The ability to exist in one’s work without exhausting oneself and creating for oneself a balanced and fulfilling life.

You too:

• You often take a step back and look at what you are experiencing at work from afar.
• Rethink your criteria for success.
• Don’t blame yourself for burnout, anxiety, or other mental health issues. You are not weak and it is not your fault.
• Get ideas from people you trust who can offer you different points of view, not from your friends who have similar problems to you. Don’t normalize your difficulties.
• Take the risk of leaving the herd and accept that few will understand you along the way.
• And most importantly, take care of yourself.

This may interest you: Did you go to work when you were sick: What is presentism at work?