Ways to build your kids’ resilience


Stress is an integral part of life not only for us adults, but also for children. Not wanting to share your toys, not getting along with your friends at school, not knowing what to do when they get angry, and many other similar situations can cause kids to deal with stress just like adults. In such cases, children need to be strong in order to protect their mental health, find solutions to problems, and control their emotions and reactions; that is, it is necessary to develop their psychological stability.

Although variously referred to in the literature as resilience, resilience, resilience, or resilience, all of them are based on the ability to be strong in the face of difficulties, manage reactions, and develop alternative solutions; opportunity to keep moving forward. In other words, children need to develop their resilience skills so they can quickly pull themselves together in the face of a problem or negative emotion they are facing and come up with healthy ideas about what to do. And in this regard, parents have a lot of work. Because research shows that reluctant children have at least one supportive adult in their lives. Resilient children are raised by parents who can manage stress, solve problems, identify emotions, get along with others, make the right decisions, empathize, and accept. If you want your child to become more coping, develop strong emotional coping skills, and have a stable, resilient mind, there are many things you can do to help them.

Create a strong bond

Spend one-on-one time with your child. Stop checking your work or the emails that come to your phone and focus only on your child. Listen to him, understand his feelings, talk about what is happening in his life, what is happening at school. Let them feel that you are there no matter what. Guide her games, make her learn new things, strengthen her communication skills. Most importantly, show your unconditional love, tell him that you will listen to him when he needs it, ask if he has anything to share. Thus, it can strengthen the bond between you; You can let him connect with you in both good and bad times.

Support for problem solving skills

Be supportive of your child, but don’t try to solve every little problem or frustration. For example, if your child wasn’t invited to a birthday party or didn’t get what they wanted on their birthday, talk about how they feel instead of trying to fix the problem. Avoid anticipating or immediately preventing potential problems for your child. Guide her to deal with difficult situations and difficult emotions. Discuss what he can do, but don’t make the problem go away. Otherwise, you will prevent him from developing coping skills. Leave room for every emotion she experiences to build resilience in the face of challenges. First let him experience how he feels and then talk to you to find a solution.

Encourage risk

One of the most effective ways to develop problem-solving skills is to dare to take risks, no matter your age. We know that all parents want their children to always be safe and eliminate all possible risks. However, wrapping children in cotton, that is, trying to protect them from everything, negatively affects their healthy development. Health hazards push children out of their comfort zone; Even if the situation fails, she enjoys the experience and learning and ensures that it results in the least possible damage. For example, taking up a new sport, hanging out with an unfamiliar peer, playing games with unfamiliar groups is a healthy risk. When children avoid risk, they internalize the message that they are not strong enough to cope; When they take risks, they learn to push themselves and develop strong coping skills.

Manage your problem-solving instinct

We assume that as a parent, when your child comes to you with a problem, you immediately want to solve the problem. This is one of the most natural internal reactions to being a parent. However, if you want to raise resilient children who are able to resist life, not to give up in the face of difficulties, you must suppress this desire to “fix”. If you solve every problem, you deprive your child of the opportunity to learn how to solve every problem. Instead, ask questions, encourage her to ask questions and come up with ideas for possible solutions.

name the emotions

When does stress start? Emotions begin to run high when problems and difficult situations arise. Moments when anger, resentment, resentment, sadness, jealousy, anxiety and similar negative emotions arise are very valuable for developing coping skills and increasing psychological resilience. Because these emotions help children understand the difficulties they face and find a way to overcome them. Teach them to describe the emotions they experience; Explain that negative emotions are normal, that these emotions are natural to everyone and will soon pass.

be a role model

Remember that children are very good observers. The best way to teach them is to show them; that is modeling. If you fail to respond appropriately, offer solutions, and behave inappropriately when faced with negative emotions or difficulties, your children may repeat the same. For example, if you scream, hit, and break things around you in a situation that makes you stressed or angry, your children may learn the behavior and display the same. This is why your children need to be mentally resilient and take a stand in the face of difficult conditions; If you want them to calmly come up with solutions, you must first do it all yourself.

Accept mistakes

Show your child that in life there is a place for both mistakes and success. Explain that both his and your own failures are normal and an integral part of our lives. Eliminating mistakes, failures and oversights keeps your children from taking risks, trying and coming up with alternative solutions; because they are afraid that the result will be negative and do not dare. They would rather do nothing than risk making a mistake. So make sure you don’t give them the wrong message. By giving examples of your mistakes and what you have done to deal with them, you can encourage him.

Maintain Holistic Health

A strong spirit cannot exist without a healthy body. You must help your child lead a healthy lifestyle in order to increase his physical and mental resilience. Nutrition, exercise, sleep, supplements, checkups and more support your child’s holistic health. Make sure he eats a balanced diet, gets enough sleep, and maintains a reasonably active lifestyle.

Finally, always trust your child. Maybe you think that your child is too fragile or not strong enough, that he cannot cope with problems, that problems will upset him. But believe me, children have a much wider and stronger potential than we think. The ability to defend oneself in the face of a negative situation, emotion or difficulty; Trust that you can solve the problem. Trust that you can handle it. Let him take risks, try, learn; You will see that every situation he solves will make him even stronger.

You may be interested in: What you need to pay attention to raising conscientious, compassionate children

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