Possible reasons why you are not in a romantic relationship

“Love does not knock on my door, the right person does not find me, I always tolerate the wrong ones, when will I sail for love …” while I was thinkingWhy am I alone?If you are looking for an answer to a question, many answers may come to your mind. It is not known for sure whether the problem is with you, with him, or not with you, but if you think that being alone is no longer a sultanate, it can be an effective method to first question the depths of your loneliness. relationships that will be good for you and bring the right partner. Looking back at your past experiences, your current life, your dating history, you can pick up on things you didn’t notice before. Here are some possible reasons for your loneliness:

Flirting may not be your priority

Maybe you just got out of a long and difficult relationship, maybe you just want to focus on your own life for a while, or you convinced yourself to stay a little longer in the peaceful embrace of loneliness… Whatever the reason, flirting may not be your thing. priority right now. Focusing on your job, your career, spending more time on your diet, exercising, traveling from city to city, country to country, or just having more time for fun with your friends might be your first choice on your list. Know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with prioritizing other parts of your life over flirting, and whatever is important to you right now, accept it and keep doing it with pride and serenity. You decide what your priorities are and your love life can start any time you choose. If that day isn’t today, your favorite non-relationship priorities may be the reason for your loneliness…

You may be trapped in fear

If your priorities are romantic relationships and you are ready to flirt, but you cannot act and therefore are alone, your fears may be the reason. If you’re afraid of being rejected, tied up, hurt, trying, getting started, taking steps, in short, starting a relationship, these fears may have imprisoned you. If you’re wondering why I’m alone, you may need to discover some of the fears you’ve been suppressing.

You may not have met the right person yet.

Some people find it easier to tune in to others, while others may find it harder to find that harmony. According to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manley, sometimes people stay single longer than they would like because they haven’t met the right person yet. So, perhaps the reason you want a relationship but are left alone is because not all of the items on that list where you list everything you want from your partner are met… If so, you might want to reconsider. your criteria, increase your chances of meeting the right one. person for you by participating in different environments, or give a potential partner the opportunity to do something. You can try to leave everything for a while.

You may be trying to connect with the wrong people.

If your past relationships with people you think might be the right person for you have ended in some disappointments, you may be “breathing yogurt” if that’s the right expression. Thus, even if you want a relationship and are currently trying to enter a new environment to find the right person, even if you find or are very close to finding the right person due to your past bad experiences and wrong relationships, you can live with instead the wrong people. In other words, the end of the road can fall apart again because you continue with a familiar, more reliable person instead of the right one… On the other hand, he chases dramas (bumpy romance) instead of healthy, constructive connections, gets outer beauty before inner beauty, notices red flags .If you are not sure of true harmony, you may be hasty, but you may be preparing the end of separation by attracting the wrong people into your life.

You may have unrealistic expectations

According to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manley, in many cases people cannot find the right partner because of high expectations. If your list of criteria that the right person should have is too long and contains items that are almost impossible to meet, you may be the reason for your loneliness. Of course, for a healthy and lasting relationship, it is very important that the person you want to be with is compatible with you, meets your needs and some of your expectations, but, as with everything, too many criteria are harmful. . Take a look at your list if you like, it may be too long and detailed for one person to understand and have… If you think you are ready to start a partnership, you can simplify this list a bit.

You may not have standards

In the same way that a very detailed, promising, long and almost impossible list of criteria is no good; the opposite is also not very cool and constructive. Some continue to be lonely because they have raised the bar too high, while others remain alone because they have never seen the bar. You want to be with the right person, to continue your life as two people, not as one, but if you think it’s impossible, maybe this time it’s because you don’t have any expectations. While you need to make sure you’re not expecting something near-impossible from your future partner, you also need to decide what to accept and what doesn’t work for you and determine the boundaries of your relationship.

You may be deficient in basic relationship skills

Sure, no one starts a relationship to end it, but some relationships end for various reasons, and one of the partners, sometimes both, end up alone for a long time… Have you ever reviewed your relationship skills, wondering about your loneliness? Yes, relationship skills. Sometimes we worry about why we are lonely, and we list a lot of reasons, but we miss the most basic; Do we have certain skills necessary to maintain a relationship? Think about it, can you control your anger, can you communicate well, can you express yourself clearly? Or do you start a fire, or do you manage to silence triggers in difficult situations? Maybe this is all that is causing your loneliness… Then it would be good to start improving some skills.

You can get stuck in the past

Some people find it difficult to enter into a new relationship, to draw someone into their life, because they have not yet forgotten the people from their past and are somehow emotionally attached … Have you really broken up with your ex? Or is it just a physical separation? Think about it, could you still have feelings for him? Whether it’s an ex you can’t let go of or a platonic love that never reciprocated your feelings in the past; Can the past hold you back? If so, your attachment to the past may be blocking your potential new connections.

You may have non-healing wounds

Unresolved traumas can often get in the way of finding a loving partner. Just like clinging to the past, some unhealed wounds can also interfere with possible alliances. Some inner pain may cause you to have trust or attachment issues and therefore not open up to a relationship. By wrapping yourself, your past, and all your wounds in compassion, accepting all your feelings and healing them, you can move on and swim into new waters.

Maybe you don’t really want a relationship.

Yes, absolutely right. Do you mean like this or like this? While you’re asking yourself, your future partner, your list of criteria, your expectations, your priorities, why I’m single, you might be missing something: maybe you really don’t want a relationship. Why not? Even though some people think they want it and make an effort to be involved in a relationship, deep down they are actually very happy to be somewhere alone and want to keep going. Maybe you are one of those people… You may think that you need to be in a relationship due to social pressures or different cultural, social and individual beliefs; but if that thought comes from the outside world and not from within, and if the voice inside you says that being alone is very good, you can go on with your days of being alone, be a sultan. Maybe one day in the future your opinion will change… Or not change at all, who knows.

According to a 2020 Pew Research Center report, approximately 31% of American adults are single, and half of those who are single are not currently looking for a relationship. Thus, it is perfectly normal to remain single, either by choice or because you were unable to find what you were looking for; and only you can decide when you want to change this situation.

Review all items above and ‘I have considered the possible reasons for my loneliness and yes, I am sure that I want a relationship.‘ and then you can also try some ways to help you:

Ask yourself what you really want: Are you ready for a relationship, is there really room in your life for one more person, are you sure you want a partner to share your life with you? Explain clearly what you want. Review your desires, expectations, plans, take “really” time for yourself and take your time to explore your inner world.

View your entire dating history: It is helpful to analyze your past and also take the time to decide what you want. What bored you in your past experiences, what was right, what was wrong, what was good about your partners or what was wrong with you, what were your expectations; Whether it was too high or too low, why they were not the right people for you, what relationships ended and why, think about all of them and write down your answers if you like. This way you can shed light on your future relationship and make better moves.

Make room for love Having looked at your personal life, it’s time to take a closer look at this part of your life. When prioritizing, be sure to leave room for love. Create an opportunity to meet someone new, make room in your schedule to meet someone you think might be the right person, in short, mature your terms to attract relationships into your life.

be patient: Rome was not built in a day, the Pyramids did not appear out of nowhere; takes perfect time! Or the relationship closest to perfection 😊 Take your time to choose the right partner, make sure you want to be with him and spend quality time together. Be patient and take firm steps to get to know yourself, your future partner, and your relationship better.

Finally, don’t forget to appreciate your single life as well. Even if you aspire to a relationship, remember that every moment of your life is commendable until the right love knocks on your door. Maybe these are your last lonely days… So enjoy 😊.

Stay in love…

source: mindbodygreen

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