How should a grieving person be helped?


When a loved one passes away, we often think about how we can spend the rest of our lives without seeing, touching, or spending time together. At some point, we realize that the presence of the deceased is enveloping our lives like a thick fog, but this fog will dissipate after a while. Details that we once remembered so clearly will now become vague memories. Did he have dimples in his cheeks that he always said, how he would look at me… to lose a loved oneThis not only changes the course of a person’s life, but perhaps sows the seeds of pain for life. In such a situation, seeing someone we care about suffer or suffer a great loss can make it hard for us to figure out how to comfort them. But a little can share the pain with awareness and the right approachWe can support a grieving relative. Do you have a loved one who has lost a loved one? support during the grieving process If you wish, these steps may help:

be a good listener

Sometimes the best thing you can offer a grieving person it’s just listening. You can get a person to open up to you by convincing them that it’s OK to talk about their feelings. to herI am here, I am with you, I listen to you, I understand, I share your pain. Even if you can’t ease the sadness of the loss, you can help him feel a little better by letting him know. Your presence by your side and your willingness to listen without judgment, This can help your grieving loved one feel better.

Show some respect

human Respect the path of sorrow. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Though the great sorrow of loss is universal, everyone has their own feelings and reflect. All you have to do is respect the way the person you love and want to be with expresses their pain.

accept mood swings

grieving person Remember that there will be emotional ups and downs. Grief, usually emotional rollercoaster defined as. Someone who has just lost a loved one may feel good for a moment and soon not know how to deal with difficult emotions. These ups and downs are a normal part of the grieving process.

Avoid giving advice

What a mourner should or shouldn’t do Better to avoid offers.. No matter how well-intentioned your approach may be, the other person may feel bad. For this reason, you must be especially careful in your words, so to speak.”You must listen twice and speak once.Instead of giving advice, show your grieving loved one that you understand how great the loss is.

Don’t try to explain the loss

Words aimed at comforting the mourner may in some cases have the opposite effect; especially when the loss is portrayed in different ways… For example, if a person has lost a loved one due to illness “no longer suffering, saved by the grace of the Creator” words like or “Okay, it’s time” It is better to refrain from such words as: Because the one who mourns He doesn’t need a description of the loss.. It will be more meaningful and rewarding for him to be with you just by listening.

Take care to say the right words

Instead of giving advice or trying to describe your pain, the person you love Approach with the most accurate suggestions possible. For example, “I am very sorry for your loss, what can I do for you, what do you need, please remember that I am near you, you can call me when you need” You can communicate using phrases such as:

help with their work

The one who mourns is all of us cope with the routine of daily life He may not have will, will, strength, time. You can make him feel that you are there and that you care about him by supporting him as much as possible with work and responsibilities such as grocery shopping, house cleaning or cooking.

Don’t compete with your pain

Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation, maybe you’ve had a big loss, maybe you’re the person who can best understand that pain “in your opinion,” but no matter how similar your experiences may seem. Remember that each person’s pain is unique. and don’t make the mistake of competing with your pain. As a natural reaction, you may instinctively try to convey your understanding of your pain by talking about it, but it is clear that a grieving person The last thing he needs is to try to prove his pain.

Don’t make physical comments

You may need to make a physical comment to help a grieving relative get well, but You would do well to silence this voice that is rising within you.. “Your eyes are swollen from tears, you have lost a lot of weight, your face has turned white, your hair is in poor condition…” Avoid statements that will make you feel worse, such as: Or “I got a good look at you, you look better, your color has changed…” Don’t use sentences that might make him feel like he has forgotten his pain. He may seem fine at the moment, but you don’t know if he’s been alone for hours and cried in the middle of the night. We all know that looks can be deceiving.

Be patient and ready

Pain has no duration, no expiration date. If you want to be close to your loved one and really hope for help and support Prepare well, because grief can last a very long time. Therefore, it is useful to be patient and not neglect your own care. If you are going to give power, you must first receive that power.

Be mindful of your social media posts

Maybe it doesn’t come to mind at first sight, or one might make a few social media posts thinking that the pain may have eased over time; however, Pain has no expiration date! So you cannot know exactly how long the grieving process of the one you love will last, nor can he, no one knows this. When you share a photo with a lost person and tag them, you can add salt to their pain and create emotional triggers. Not; Don’t share, tag and, if possible, memorialize by deleting photos one at a time from an album.

As confident as you are in the support you offer to a grieving relative, the most important thing is that you genuinely care about them and want to help. Someone going through the grieving process will appreciate your sincere efforts to be supportive.

In addition to all of the above, what psychologists working on the problem of grief most emphasize is that, as we mentioned above, “listening‘. Donna Henes, who has worked with grief for over 35 years.“Just listen, this is the best thing you can do for a grieving person.” says and adds: “Saying things like that time heals everything or that he’s in a better place right now is useless and can be uncomfortable.” Similarly, professional life coach Jennifer Kelman supports this approach and encourages bereaved people to regularly ask for their well-being, be there for them, and “I’m here if you need it’ Offers a reminder. Most importantly, Kelman points out, there is no timetable for the grieving process. “Relatives may feel that the grieving person needs to get over it as quickly as possible; but this from putting pressure on the bereaved and delaying his or her recovery. it won’t work for anything else.“He emphasizes the importance of patience.

Finally, it is worth noting that people who are grieving need healing. requires a lot of time and emotional supportso you are with him Remind him often that he can reach you when he needs you.. Not always ready to talk, but when necessary It will be very comforting even to know that you are there.

You can also check out our various articles on the grieving process:

Source:, psychology today,,

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