How about forgiving yourself? – Aplifers
In life everyone can be wrongme, you, our family, our loved ones … It is important to accept them and learn from them, without ignoring the mistakes made, without hiding them and not turning them into a big event under which we are crushed.
Within each of us there is an inner critic and inner protector. when we make mistakes Our inner critic appears. This inner critic abuses criticism by exaggerating small failures and turning them into huge failures. It finds and fixes past mistakes and ignores your attempts to fix those mistakes.
At such times, our inner protector steps in to bring out our good points, put our mistakes in perspective, and turn us off the path that our inner critic has sent us upside down. With the support of our inner protector, we try to correct the mistakes we have made and we can deal with the feelings that make us feel bad. If the remorse, guilt, or shame we feel becomes permanent and settles in the middle of our lives, it prevents us from contributing to both ourselves and the environment. Therefore, we should not forget that these feelings are not only to punish us, but also in order not to repeat the same mistake again. We must come to terms with ourselves and forgive ourselves!
So how do we forgive?
We can do many different things to forgive ourselves. It is important to repeat what we have chosen from the proposed activities at regular intervals and constantly remind ourselves of them. We can start by choosing a small incident that we are still angry about and try one or more of the following methods.
- Let’s think of a friend, family member, or pet if we have one, who will help us through difficult times, who cares for us and doesn’t judge us for our mistakes. At times like these, let’s identify the aspects of it that are good for us and imagine that those aspects are also in our own inner protector. For example, if a close friend reminds us that we are more than just a mistake when we make a mistake, our inner protector may tell us that we are much more than a mistake.
- While continuing to feel cared for, let’s list what we think is good and ask our inner protector what he thinks of us. We may be surprised to see how much good there is in ourselves.
- If we yelled at our child, hurt someone, lied to our family, let’s just accept it. What came to our mind at that moment? How did it make us feel? What are the implications for ourselves and others? Let’s try to figure out what’s up with questions like: In doing so, try to understand and notice how the other person feels when we make these movements. These are facts that are hard to face but will also set us free.
- Let’s categorize the bad behavior we think we do as mistakes and incompetence. Mistakes deserve feelings of shame, remorse and regret. Since incompetence is not done consciously, it only needs to be corrected. For example, it is a mistake if we offended someone with our own words and in doing so deliberately said things that could have offended them terribly. However, if we say it without thinking, just because it comes to our mind, it is incompetence, and we can correct it without blaming ourselves and try not to repeat it.
- It is important that we take responsibility for our mistakes and incompetence by being honest with ourselves. I am responsible for the “…” within us. But I am not responsible for…” It is important to internalize them and allow them to take root in our system by saying or writing it out loud.
- And let’s forgive ourselves. He said out loud, “I forgive myself for… I agreed, worked to make up for it, and did my best.” And perhaps we can add to this sentence the forgiveness of the person against whom we have made a mistake.
Let’s give this feeling time to calm down and forgive ourselves. So we can be peaceful and happy.
How would you like to forgive yourself now?
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