Hits that make you feel worthless in a two-way relationship: love bombing, gaslighting, phantom.
I often talk about this in trainings and classes: None of us are healthy, and as this unhealthy state continues, we tend to burn ourselves and everything we touch in the first place. When this is the case, we create dark whirlpools in the relationship where we get better feedback about ourselves. The connection we create with everything is really a relationship, but today I want to write about bilateral relationships.
There are some new relationship terms for modern men that I think are proof that none of us are good! First I will explain these terms and I want to write about what we should do in these situations from my own experience because at the end of the day we are all trying to be educated with the same teaching and I see that many lost souls do it. it is better for them not to walk in the ways of others, and we break out of these delicate places of our humanity.
We can say that this is a manifestation of strong love / interest at the beginning of a flirt or relationship. You are suddenly surrounded by strong interest and love for no reason, and you see that the other side is thinking of everything to make you feel special. When you get used to this attention and become, so to speak, addicted, the love bombardment will end in an instant.
Two phases of love bombardment:
- the initial stage: Flirt or relationship starts with a strong interest.
- second stage: Intense interest suddenly disappears and you start running to regain this interest.
This term, which means “gas lamp” in Turkish, was introduced in 1938. gas light It began to be used through theatrical production. This definition is used to express a strategy for managing intimidation and the perception of one side against the other in a bilateral relationship. Gaslighting is psychological abuse. It makes you constantly doubt yourself and feel worthless in a relationship.
3 phases of gaslighting:
- The initial stage: You think the relationship is perfect. perfection phase we can also say.
- Second stage: The next and most difficult step is devaluation phase. The other side makes you feel worthless and incompetent because of what they say and do to you.
- Third stage: If the last phase abandonment is the phase. The other side begins to sacrifice you and turn its attention to others. Feeling worthless, you apologize and start chasing him.
It is the disappearance of the other side without any explanation during the relationship. This is a situation where your lover disappears when you think you are in a relationship and does not return your calls and messages.
- The initial stage: Everything is very beautiful. The relationship has just begun.
- Second stage: The other side disappears without any explanation. If you don’t reply to messages, you will still feel worthless.
I don’t know if you’re aware, but these 3 terms and many more actually end up making the person feel worthless. And what a person does in order not to feel worthless hurts more.
Why don’t we trust anyone?
In fact, our wounds choose our partners in bilateral relationships! I think we know it now, but while we all desperately run to be loved, we throw ourselves into relationships that will end no matter what or who we are drawn to. We then rush to start a new relationship to correct this cycle. You understand how unhealthy this is even as you read this, right?
Everything healthy is built over time! Being someone’s life and love suddenly doesn’t seem real to me! Relationships in which souls cannot meet and are unhealthy must end at once! This chapter is very valuable for the healthy from the start, but we feel like it’s the other way around when we’re alive, right?
The reason we suffer the most from relationships is because we learn the most important lessons about ourselves from them. So, no matter what situation you’re in, ask your part first! It’s easy to blame the other side, but Why am I attracting these people into my life? The question will help you get to the root cause more.
What I mean? If you have a deep sense of worthlessness, the men or women you are attracted to will certainly be the ones to evoke that feeling. This is why affirmations don’t work!
‘Relationship Corner they don’t giveinside us pain they reveal. –Eckhart Tolle
What should we do?
By putting the relationship you have established with yourself first, approaching everything step by step, taking the time to see and recognize many changes. To be able to see that something is not happening, instead of succumbing to it Good Did you know that the ability to say is worth wearing an oxygen mask in an airless environment?
During the session, when I felt stuck, my therapist: “It is necessary, it is necessary! ‘
I was so impressed by his calm and confident demeanor when he said this… No, I did not need to rush things, I did not need to constantly make statements, I did not need to “unnecessarily” delve into the Essence of things that did not go away, did not work!
Looking back, I can clearly see why and why I shot the people I shot. I cannot change what happened, I can only bring into this moment this irresistible light of understanding!
Friends, neither a man nor a woman who can’t be left alone with their own loneliness, are not attractive at all! Stay with yourself first, spend time with yourself! And then I must be in a relationship Give time to get acquainted and see, without running around talking! No if it’s not! Don’t push it, it won’t happen!
Take risks with it all! Skip it, maybe try it if it drops! Don’t be afraid to get hurt. Get closer step by step. Do not be afraid that your humanity will break in the most delicate places!
As I see and understand, we are much stronger than we think! Don’t just run!
Don’t worry, this tender part of our humanity is as strong as it is sensitive.
And I have news:
It’s not that he’s not broken, which makes him strong,
You may be interested in: Everything is temporary; you just take your share
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