Do you know if you want the same relationship as your partner?

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Communicationthis is the area we need to develop the most in relationships in order to be aware and understand each other. For this reason, we can keep that connection by talking about many issues and working hard on it if we can’t speak. Our expectations from relationships will also be shaped by what we talk about, and in this way we can develop these relationships.

Many of us’If we talk the magic will disappear butWe can be influenced by very unrealistic thoughts such as “. But in fact, this is the situation to which we are accustomed. This is the result of a romantic comedy-fantasy. After falling in love and happy endings that we see in films, we began to communicate and opened up to each other our needs and the periods in which we are negotiating begin.

For this reason, when you are at the beginning of a relationship with your partner,does the other of you want the same relationship It’s perfectly okay to ask. “Everything needs to be discussed from the very beginning, so that later there are no big disappointments.” says the dear doctor. Tatkin continues:

“A lot of times we think about the qualities of a potential partner: their appearance, their interests, their personality… All of this, of course, will definitely affect your attraction to them. However, if you intend to establish a long-term relationship, you must make sure that they want the same kind of relationship as you. Think about the principles you want to guide your relationship and find someone who wants the same. If you do it sooner, you’ll save yourself and your relationship more time.”

At this stage, it is very important to be able to speak openly about their needs and expectations at the very beginning. For example:

  • Do you dream of getting married soon? If you’re not considering marriage, it may be important to talk about that as well.
  • Do you include children in your relationship? What do you think about children?
  • If you met while living in different cities, do you have a dream of moving and living in the same city as an extension of this relationship, or would you like to have a relationship at a distance?

Is there anything you would like to know ahead of time?

Source: Dr. Stan Tatkin

You may be interested in: The Weekly Relationship Check: An Effective Tool for Managing Conflict and Building Strong Bonds

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