Do our parents influence the choice of a partner?


When we look inwards a little, we will first see that everything is in amazing balance and cycle. With this awareness, we will receive signals of a strong connection between the past and the future. What do I want to say? Stability, efficiency or imbalance and cycle in relation to ourselves is partly due to our experience and mainly to our parents. An individual who brings a different perspective on intergenerational mental disorders may move away from this transference or continue this transference with repressed feelings and thoughts. There is no need to go back many generations, we are creating the future with respect, tolerance, support that we received from our own parents, or with love, understanding and peace that we never received.

Partners are perhaps one of the most important people to take on the journey of life in the created future. Relationships and the attitude of parents towards them from childhood are very effective in choosing partners for individuals. The behavior and thought patterns of men in relation to the female model and the female model in relation to the male model are largely shaped by the mother and father. For example, a man’s relationship with his mother or older sister determines his relationship to the opposite sex. If a healthy relationship has been established between them, they want to continue this model in the same spirit. Although he wants to maintain this order, he also exhibits healthy behavior, just like in this order. The main goal in this cycle is “I’ll be with someone like my parents” is an.

Often the attitude and attitude of the parent is seen objectively. Positive and negative behaviors are accepted together, but this is reason enough for a transfer because the person receives enough unconditional love from their parents. Second, mate choice by people who are constantly excluded, don’t feel valued, and don’t feel like they belong in a parental relationship can be built on breaking this cycle. For example, if a woman’s relationship with her father or older brother is far from family satisfaction, her partner preferences may have characteristics opposite to the family model. In other words, the choice of a partner by an individual who grew up with the pattern of a constantly angry, grumpy, restless, humiliating father may favor an individual with prudent, calm, gentle, and positive character traits. In this process, a person may exhibit outright avoidance behavior when they encounter a parent-like candidate mate. Or he may act selectively and sensitively when choosing a partner in a general prejudice and attitude. Finally, while they may not be able to establish a healthy relationship with their parents, the partner preferences of people who want to continue this cycle rather than break it may still be similar to their own parents. For example, the choice of a partner for a person who, as a child, was subjected to alcohol and father abuse, who was subjected to verbal abuse against himself and other family members, who never felt his trust and support behind him, and most importantly, who never felt paternal love since childhood. It could be someone who has these characteristics or has a similar personality. In the psychological background of this person, there is actually a state of unworthiness, unworthiness of oneself. The individual has been so exposed to unhealthy relationships since childhood that he no longer deserves a healthy process. Moreover, entering into a healthy process even makes him nervous. Because if things go bad again, it might be harder to deal with.

The importance of the concept of the family in almost every field of activity comes to the fore when choosing a partner, and this is important for the psychological stability of the generational change, especially the awareness of parents in this matter.

You can follow my Instagram account @klinikpsikologbetulcavlak to connect with me, follow my posts and get online/personal therapy services.

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