Do Nothing Guide for those who find it difficult to stop and rest

Do you remember the last time you rested without thinking about anything? In today’s culture of busyness and urgency, it can seem almost impossible to stand still. Unfortunately, quite often one has to be constantly busy with something, not to sit idle, to feel guilty for the time allotted for rest. Even the concept of “stress relaxation”, which describes a state of being more tense when trying to relax, has taken its place in the literature. However, this state of being unable to stop and rest is very dangerous for our body, mind and spirit. While most of us don’t take relaxation very seriously, the Danes even have a philosophy they call the art of doing nothing: Nixen. In fact, the book of the famous author Paul Lafargue “The right to laziness” is devoted to this very issue and tells us that we can exist even when we stop doing nothing.

So why can’t we stop doing nothing and what happens when we can’t? Author of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Not Being Perfect, renowned psychologist Dr. B. According to Bonnie Zucker, when we don’t take the time to relax and unwind, both our body and brain can’t work well enough. Negative symptoms such as anxiety and depression can arise because the work, emotions, and responsibilities that keep us stressed almost 24/7 leave the amygdala, defined as the emotional center of the brain, alone. For this reason, rest and relaxation are considered the antidote to stress and all the negativity it creates. Unfortunately, at the moment it is not possible to stay in the moment and focus on real relaxation. Taking into account that Dr. Zucker says relaxation is a gift to all of us and is considered a fundamental part of human nature. Despite all this, if you are one of those who can’t stop doing anything and can’t create the right space, time, and mood to relax, the guide in the rest of this article will help you understand the intricacies of doing nothing. Here is a “do nothing” guide for those who find it difficult to stop and rest:

1. Find the cause of the guilt you feel while trying to relax

Clinical psychologist Adiya Guden says that nowadays we strive to be busy, we live in a society that values ​​productivity and tangible results, so rest makes us feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, according to the famous writer and psychologist Bonnie Zucker, we consider doing nothing to be a waste of time. Drawing attention to the fear of missing out (FOMO) due to the growing influence of social media, Dr. Neil Barnett says that’s why we keep doing things, trying to keep up with everything and keep track of what’s happening. If you think that all this applies to you, then, according to experts, in order to do nothing, you must first address the root of the guilt felt at the moment of relaxation.

Dr. Neil Barnett offers a simple yet effective way to find this cause: “What about exercise.” Ask yourself; “What if I don’t work around the clock?” and try to answer honestly. You may feel that others will see you as an unproductive person.

“What if people think you’re unproductive?” Maybe your personality is very dependent on your position. “Who am I when I am independent of my work? Tobad parent? What happens if I give up control?” You can test yourself with questions such as why you don’t listen, you can’t stop doing something.

Dr. According to Neal-Barnett, once you get to the core fear behind your guilt, you can take the right steps to deal with it. Keeping a diary, scheduled rest breaks, or working with a therapist can be effective, according to a well-known doctor.

2. Make room for irresistible emotions

Maybe you avoid rest and do nothing to avoid confronting your disturbing emotions? Dr. Good, “Anxiety, grief, stress, and burnout can come out of nowhere when you’re trying to relax.” says and adds: “Sometimes we use preoccupation as a way to avoid what we really need to deal with or do something about. It might be easier to just keep doing it than to deal with some of the emotions that might come up when you stop.” In other words, for many people, being busy instead of relaxing is an effective way to avoid negative and unwanted emotions. Making room for negative emotions and letting them feel, rather than trying to avoid them, is critical to a truly relaxing experience, experts say. Dr. Allowing difficult emotions or disturbing thoughts to exist is an important part of not only processing those emotions, but also relaxing, Zucker says. “If you’re constantly distracted from what’s bothering you, you can’t both solve problems and stay in the moment when it’s time to relax.” He points out that difficult feelings should be acknowledged.

Think about it, what do you avoid thinking or feeling? What object are you constantly trying to create for yourself so you don’t have to think about it? What emotions do you not stop and rest to prevent them from coming out? Take a pen or paper in your hand or make a mental note; your worries, the ideas you avoid thinking about, the feelings that make you uncomfortable… This way you can make room for them and not deprive yourself of a real relaxation experience to avoid them.

3. Change your mind about “me time”

If you find it difficult to rest because you think you have disappointed others or yourself, think about how you would like to appear to yourself and the people in your life. If you don’t stop because you think you’ll be seen as a bad parent, or if you don’t want your colleagues to judge you as a lazy person if you constantly work and play for yourself, it’s helpful to reconsider the “me time” you take away for yourself. You may think that you can use this rest time to reach the state you want to see yourself in. A relaxed parent, a happy employee, an energetic friend, someone who is relaxed and ready to go the extra mile… When you can view this time as an effective tool for achieving your best self, you can truly relax and enjoy doing nothing without feeling overwhelmed. this guilt. or uncomfortable.. You don’t want to see yourself exhausted, tired, exhausted, miserable, do you? That is why you need free time for effective rest.

4. Plan what you will do during your vacation

If you find it difficult to sit still or you can’t stop doing nothing, some tools will help you with this and help you relax. Many studies show that meditation, which includes mindfulness practice, promotes calm and relaxation, resting the brain. You can relax with 5-10 minute meditation sessions. You can also add yoga postures to your relaxation. On the other hand, dr. Zucker notes that Insight Timer or similar mobile apps are also effective for short and calming mindfulness sessions. He says that since such practices already have a certain structure in them, they gradually bring the body and mind into a state of rest. In addition, he emphasizes that mantras can also be effective. “It’s the best thing I can do right now, and that’s enough.” If you find it difficult to do nothing, you can try these practices while relaxing, which will not tire you too much and actually help you relax more, although it may seem like you are doing something.

5. If you’re going to do something, do it really happy.

Finally, rest does not literally mean doing nothing; but at this momentor you don’t) means that you are “really” happy with everything. Dr. Good, “Do what you really want and what satisfies you, not what you think will get you likes on social media or what your judgmental thoughts tell you “should.” Maybe eat your favorite dessert, spend 15 minutes with your child, or read a romance novel… Whatever you choose, do it carefully and enjoy the moment: smell the food. Give your child your full attention. Feel the weight of the book in your hand. Put your phone away.” He stresses that rest time should be linked to feeling good.

You, too, can follow these steps to truly dedicate yourself to relaxation, and while it may be difficult at first, you can focus on deep rest and relaxation, enjoying doing nothing over time.

Source: myself

You may be interested in: The Art of Doing Nothing: How about stopping to rejuvenate?