Can you make someone fall in love with you?
If you’re attracted to someone special to you, you may be looking for proven ways to make him or her feel like you. Unfortunately, there is no definitive answer to this question, as you might hope. But relationship experts have a lot to say about how to make someone fall in love with you!
What makes people fall in love with each other?
The Oxford English Dictionary defines love as “an intense and deep feeling of love”. According to clinical psychologist Christina Hallett, research into the nature of human intimacy shows that there are actually two types of “love”:
First, passionate love, which we call romantic love, includes attraction and sexual desire. The other refers to the attachment that forms between related people, such as mother and child, but also develops in long-term relationships. As some say, “true love” is the perfect combination of passionate love and commitment that develops over time.
According to clinical psychologist Bobby Wegner, people are more likely to fall in love when the three main components are present: attraction, lust, and attachment.
“Attraction is, as it sounds, curiosity, interest, or liking for someone. Lust refers to a strong sexual desire for someone, while attachment refers to an emotional bond between two people. The closer two people become emotionally, the more they seek that closeness and feel more secure with the other person.”
So what exactly drives these three components? While there is no way to force things like attraction and commitment, a 2010 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relations describes 12 “pioneers” of falling in love:
- mutual recognition
- social influence
- Satisfying their needs
- specific features
As therapists say, people fall in love with each other because of “trust, excitement, relevance, and shared feelings. This is what we are really looking for.”
Why not love?
Before we explain how to make someone fall in love with you, let’s talk about what love is not. The nature of this question begs another question: Why are you trying to get someone to fall in love with you?
It’s incredibly easy to dedicate yourself to gaining someone’s approval while giving up your own needs, even your own sense of self-worth. The more you focus on whether someone likes you or not, the more you give up on yourself. However, it is more important that you clarify how this person actually makes you feel.
Even if you say “he has everything I want, that’s why I really like him”, if you feel cold when you are with him, you feel that this is not true and you try to ignore it all, the name of what you are experiencing it can’t be love. You are probably attracted to the “pull of deprivation” when someone’s lack of interest in you becomes addictive fuel for your own abandonment anxiety. According to experts, this is an incredibly addictive and complex type of attraction that we are all programmed to be sensitive and vulnerable to.
Holly Richmond, a marriage and family therapist, says it’s a mix of hormones, endorphins, and emotional priorities that show up early in a relationship, but it can be different between people. Of course, this does not mean that the relationship will not improve over time. If he is still trying to get love from the person in question and you can’t see it, you guessed it, he may not love you.
And finally, although lust is an integral part of love, things can get even more complicated when the level of lust is high. Because love and lust can be easily confused. Surprisingly, they activate similar neural pathways in the brain associated with things like goal-directed behavior, happiness, reward, and addiction!
How to make someone fall in love with you naturally?
Among other things, if you are genuinely attracted to someone and want to strengthen intimacy, experts recommend:
1. Gradually deepen intimacy
Loving someone means having a deep sense of closeness to them. Therefore, if you want to cultivate love in someone, try to gradually deepen your intimacy through common feelings and time spent together.
2. Use body language
Part of love is the mutual attraction or desire you have for each other. One way to encourage this attraction and desire is through body language. Things like eye contact and gentle touches not only increase the feeling of intimacy, but also increase desire.
- For example: the love gaze trick in viral psychology can make someone feel like you’re interested in them. To try this tactic, follow these steps in order:
- During a conversation with a person of interest to you, look for a second into his left eye.
- Then look at her lips.
After 1.5-2 seconds, look up and look into the right eye.
3. Get out of your comfort zone together
While there’s nothing wrong with casual dinner dates and movies at home, adventuring together can be a great way to strengthen your bond with someone. Try doing something a little borderline. Doing these things is not only fun, but will help you bond.
4. Be yourself
Experts emphasize the importance of being yourself, even if you have fallen in love with someone. This is especially important in the long run, or if you’re trying to get someone to fall in love with you again. Often in relationships, especially long ones, people lose interest in each other over time. This is not because they have ceased to be physically attractive, but because the novelty is lost. Therefore, it is very important for long-term partners to stick to their interests, not only for their own personal growth, but also to maintain a sense of obscurity or curiosity towards their partner.
5. Be patient
True love takes time, so be patient. To that end, focus on the beauty of old-fashioned courtship and take your time. Whether it’s sex or spending time together, sometimes venting your longing between you can be a powerful way to motivate long-term commitment. Remember, if your love has a chance to blossom, there is no need to rush.
You may be interested: “Love is in the air”: how do you know you’re in love?
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