Black and white can be intertwined


We start learning when we are very young; It’s right, it’s wrong, it’s good, it’s bad, it’s beautiful, it’s ugly… What falls under which category or why is a subject that needs to be thought about and discussed separately, but first I think it is necessary to look at how this system works. Is all this labeling really good for us?

Because of our culture, we may be prone to extreme emotions. When we see someone’s mistake, we immediately condemn this person, and when we see a good one, we immediately ignore all his shortcomings. Then other events happen and our feelings change and we approach the same person with the opposite attitude. Thus, we do not benefit ourselves, nor this person, nor our relationship.

Who is pure “good” or who is pure “bad” in this life? Doesn’t the “beautiful” snow you find romantic while sitting in your cozy home suddenly turns into the ugliest thing of the day when you’re stuck on the road? How many mistakes does how many right ones make? Are all the things you say “right” and everything you say “wrong” worth the same? What do we call useful when excess in everything turns into poison for people? How do we make sure that a certain part of something will work the same for everyone and under all circumstances?

Perhaps if we realize that everything can be good and bad, useful and harmful, beautiful and ugly at the same time, we can be more balanced, not fluctuating between so many labels and extreme emotions.

For example, when we see someone’s mistake, we can choose to communicate with him or her only the attitude/word that seems wrong to us, without marking this person with any label. Knowing that everyone has the right to make a mistake, or given that this person could do so due to various circumstances, we can approach the subject from a more understanding and calm point of view, without closing ourselves off from possibilities. Nothing can change after the communication we have established, because the other person may not have the same awareness of what seems wrong to us. In this case, instead of ending the relationship entirely, we may choose to distance ourselves from that person on an issue we cannot agree on. Everything in our lifeall or nothingYou don’t have to be on the plane. We can also involve people in our lives in different proportions that we prefer.

We must use the same point of view in relation to ourselves. We can be more compassionate when we criticize ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made, because the fact that we’ve been wrong about something doesn’t cause us to fall into a huge pit of wrong, bad, and ugly. Conversely, it should be noted; ignoring our mistakes or shortcomings, comforting ourselves with some good deeds we do, also sets us in a trap. If we evaluate ourselves only by situations/events/conditions, we will have the opportunity to move away from generalizations. Most of the things we do are actually connected to many other things and are connected to several states and emotions at the same time. It is very important that we can stretch our thoughts with this awareness. This is how we can be richer and more balanced.

Our brains like to classify categories and things according to their contrasts. Therefore, it takes effort and energy to stretch our thoughts. However, if we can do that, we can also access white in black and black in white. In fact, we see that nothing is pure black or pure white, that from the very beginning they have all been tinted gray or intertwined between black and white. Too much is lost if we archive our experiences, our emotions and people in files that are simply separated and named by contrast. We also need to capture relationships and intertwining situations. There is wealth.

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