“Adoption Story” with Gamze Bilir Seyhan

Gamze Bilir-Seyhan shares a lot of information about adoption on his Instagram account @birevlatedinilmehikayesi. Bilir-Seyhan, who works as an early childhood education academic at Aegean University, shares a lot of information about her own adoption history and those who are considering adoption, and organizes meetings to bring all aspects of this business to those who are interested in adoption. .

Every “Today I will apply through e-government, tomorrow they will put a child in my house.” thought!

Especially after the earthquake in Kahramanmaras, he wants to explain that when the number of people who want to adopt “earthquake-affected” children or who want to become a “foster family” for children he sees on social networks has increased significantly, this is not at all what Seems. Although 14,000 children live in state institutions, the number of applicants for a foster family after the earthquake exceeded 200,000. While these numbers are very encouraging in normal times, people need to wait at least 6 months to become a foster family and at least 3-4 years to adopt, and they must meet all the conditions. Moreover, even if all these criteria are met, the event has another dimension; and this is the history of the entire life of the traumatized child, which will be “ancient” and “will be rewritten.” It is for this reason that the number of people who cannot resist the pictures of earthquake survivors they see on screen and submit via e-government is expected to decrease over the years. In other words, “contrary to popular belief”, bringing home the children they see on the screen is “quite different” from buying milk in the market. Adoption or foster care is like embarking on a lifelong journey, financially and morally stable, full of trials and beauty.

We asked Gamza Bilir Seyhan a lot of interesting questions.

Can we get to know you first? What kind of work do you do, more Hewhat did you do beforeG?

My name is Gamze, I was born in Soke in 1987 and was adopted as soon as I was born. I am an early childhood educator. I have been working as an academician in the field of preschool education for 13 years. I also completed my PhD in children’s literature in this area. Combining my own life story and professional experience in the field of early childhood education, in recent years I have been working on the child protection system, foster care, adoption and adoption in books. In addition, I am holding awareness raising events to normalize these issues on my Instagram account @birevlatedinilmehikayesi on social media.

When did you first find out you were adopted? Do you remember how you felt when you found out?

I learned from my mother that I was adopted when I was 11 years old. “Yes OK.” I remember talking and going on with my life. At the time, I thought I was too big, but now that I look back, I was still a very small child.

your biological familyHeHave you ever wanted to travel or meet someone from your family?

My adoption history was through interpersonal adoption. Therefore, the biological family and my family are relatives, therefore I grew up knowing the biological family. We are still dating.

appeared after the earthquakeblood “adoption of earthquake victims” or “What do you think of the applications to become a “protective family for earthquake victims”?

Since the earthquake, more than 200,000 foster family applications have been filed. At any other time, we should have been flying with happiness because of these numbers. Because before the earthquake, the number of children in children’s institutions under the protection of the state was approximately 14,000 people. Currently, about 14,000 children are in boarding schools, and 9,000 children are cared for by 7,432 foster families.

That’s why we had to be hit with 200,000 applications, because it would be a very good development to have all the children institutionalized in a foster family. But it’s not. As a result of the earthquake we experienced in our country, our people thought that they could become a foster family for these children, because of the desire to help the earthquake area and because of the images of children affected by the earthquake in the media. Therefore, succumbing to this impulse, they applied through e-government, not knowing the system of foster families. Unfortunately, the vast majority of these applicants withdraw their applications when they find out that they cannot be a foster family for children in the earthquake area and that the foster family assessment process can take 5-6 months and the adoption process can take 3-4 months. years. So instead of flying into the air, I’m sorry. On the other hand, talking about this issue has also raised awareness about parenting and adoption, as well as encouraging those who wanted to apply but didn’t. “We didn’t take the risk, so we applied.We also run into families who say “.

What do you think is the most difficult part of this job? What?

Every “Today I will submit an application through the electronic government, tomorrow a child will be settled in my house.” thought he did. This is where the biggest misunderstanding came from. But it’s not. The application evaluation-approval process takes time. Because in this process it is assessed in every detail whether you can give the child qualified care or not. Your economic and health status is being investigated. In addition, the availability of social support that you can use while caring for a child is also taken into account. That’s why it takes so long. Most post-earthquake applications do not proceed to the next stage for these reasons because the person or family applies thinking it is a shorter and more immediate process.

It’s a long journey. troikasonincreasing kHedemands fromIt takes effort, it takes time. In addition, children under state protection may be exposed to various negative influences both during pregnancy and after birth. For this reason, it should be taken into account that these children may continue to experience difficulties some time after being placed with their families.

Especially during adolescence, children can be extremely aggressive towards each other. Did anything happen when you were that age?yardiniG?

As a teenager, I did not experience bullying from peers. The biggest bullying I’ve experienced has been from adults. With me when I was a little boy “Is that the boy? Is this the child you took?” There were adults in my life who asked questions. In my tiny state, I understood what these questions meant. Also, I can’t forget that my parents tried to avoid these questions by trying not to show it to me.

These questions of people were my trauma in this process. Otherwise, the adoption itself was not traumatized. is a mockery “He’s a child, he doesn’t understand…” The questions asked next to me were my injuries. At the time, I couldn’t handle it. When my story became normal for me, I began to tell, speak and write. In fact, my social media account came at the end of this process. Now that this topic has been brought up, I think I have the opportunity to explain to one more person what it means to be adopted.

Do you have other brothers and sisters? Do you have a memorable moment with your family??

I am the only child in the family. Every moment with my family is very beautiful and especially for me. I think one of the most memorable is my graduation from METU. This is one of our most special memories that I am proud of and I know they are very proud of me.

“You hold meetings on the topic “About adoption”. What is the purpose of this and will you continue?

Adoption meetings have been a goal I have set for myself for 2023. My dream was to define a topic within this direction every month and hold online meetings with those who are interested. The first is January 31st.Books“We’ve done about it. I think that this is a social support work, which is very important first of all for me, and then for the participants. Social support makes people feel like they belong to a group, shows that they are not alone, and proves to us that people with similar experiences can learn from different experiences. So I attach great importance to the meeting at these adoption meetings. Our theme for February:The truth about parenting and adoption” will. I have a humanitarian responsibility to correct misconceptions on this issue.

Absolutely… Finally for adopted children or families considering adoption Hedo you have books??

Families can especially benefit from children’s picture books. Children’s books are a very rich tool in this regard. Because you can present stories to children by concretizing and visualizing. I can name some of them here; If a ladybug knocked on your door, Warm home, I wanted you so much, But this cow is carrying eggs, Mimu wants to fly and The story of the blue egg.

In addition, there are stories from real life written specifically by foster mothers; I would like to recommend the books “Another Birth Story” by Duygu Caglar Taina, “Nine Months and Ten Days” by Almula Merter Churm and “Waiting for Markella” by Katerina Jakubiak Iliadis.

This is sincere thanks to the respected Gamza Bilir Seyhan.HeThanks for the portal…