A woman’s fear of independence awaits her prince charming


We all know the fairy tale about Cinderella… Either we heard it many times in childhood and still remember it, or we read this fairy tale to our children many times; especially our girls… The story is clear; Cinderella, who lives with her stepmother and sisters, goes to a ball one night with the help of a fairy, meets the prince there, drops her shoe, trying to get home before midnight, the prince finds this shoe and starts looking for its owner. . He makes everyone try on shoes, finally finds our Cinderella and proposes marriage, they live happily ever after in the palace … Or can they? Is Cinderella really happy with herself? Does he feel free enough? Going back even further, does he really need a prince? Who knows…

This is a fairytale? Of course, we will not leave the fairy tale here, and let’s take a look at the following syndrome, named after this fairy tale, that many women in the world live or may suffer from: the Cinderella Syndrome or the Cinderella Complex. This term, which was first used when solving the mystery of a murder in the novel by Agatha Christie, later received a resonance all over the world and managed to come to the attention of psychologists.

This syndrome, which tells about women who are afraid of being independent and think they need male protection or shelter, also draws attention to the presence of psychological dependence. On the other hand, she also points to women who see the reward for patience in being saved by a man. Women with Cinderella syndrome are waiting for a man to come and take control of their lives; so they can be happy according to them…

In other words, the Cinderella complex refers to a psychological state in which a woman fears true independence and secretly expects “a knight in bright armor or a charming prince” to come and take care of her. Although the American Psychiatric Association does not accept it as a diagnosis, the fact that there are many studies of Cinderella syndrome in the literature indicates the prevalence of the condition. So, how to understand this syndrome and what needs to be done to overcome it? Here are the answers…

Cinderella Syndrome Symptoms

Even women who appear to be independent in many aspects of their lives and act freely can suffer from Cinderella Syndrome, according to expert psychologists. Although the symptoms of this syndrome or complex may vary from woman to woman, in general the symptoms can be listed as follows:

  • Always respects the choices and decisions of his partner,
  • Worrying about living alone, doing things
  • Having difficulty making important decisions alone or unable to make decisions alone
  • Having difficulty in working at a job that will earn a living,
  • Mostly preferring the role of housewife or mother,
  • Often in need of a strong partner and preferring to be with him,
  • Almost never stepping out of my comfort zone
  • I am waiting for a savior partner to get out of difficult conditions and events,
  • Having difficulty with self-confidence,
  • Feeling always in need of attention
  • Women who would rather be saved than take care of themselves may suffer from the Cinderella Syndrome.

Women with these symptoms can undermine their freedom by convincing themselves that a strong partner is the only way to get through difficult situations and survive, much like future princesses in fairy tales waiting for their prince charming. However, it is worth noting that not every woman with the listed symptoms must have Cinderella syndrome. Many women who have taken on traditional social roles can enjoy healthy and happy partnerships in which the partners are equally interdependent.

Ways to deal with Cinderella Syndrome

So why does the Cinderella Syndrome arise, why do some women feel the need to save a man and do not seek their own independence or are even afraid to be free? The answers to all these questions can differ for as many personal reasons as the symptoms. However, childhood traumas, past relationships, self-doubt, some fears and negative emotions are some of the main causes of this syndrome. On the other hand, according to many experts, the fear of failure and the belief that independence is contrary to femininity and femininity can also lead to Cinderella syndrome. But it can be overcome, regain a sense of independence, overcome fears. If you think you have Cinderella Syndrome, you can use the following ways to take control of your life and regain your independence:

  • Review your values ​​and beliefs; Which ones are yours, which ones did you bring from your past, from your family? Stop holding on to values ​​that don’t belong to you.
  • Recognize your own needs and create a roadmap of what you need to do to meet them.
  • Get out of your comfort zone; Discover a more adventurous and creative side. Try new things, challenge yourself, learn to take different steps despite your fears, and be brave enough to make original choices.
  • Realize your strength; Invest in yourself to discover who you really are, find your strengths and weaknesses, and improve your weaknesses.
  • Look for ways to increase your self-confidence; use your skills, be in an environment that makes you feel good, remind yourself of your past successes.
  • Re-evaluate your romantic relationships, think about why and how you need to depend on your partner, remind yourself that you can take care of yourself.
  • Make an effort to establish healthy communication first with yourself and then with your partner, be frank, honest and make it clear what you expect and want from life.
  • Change your point of view; What if Cinderella never met the prince? Is he unable to solve his problems? What if she didn’t trust the prince to get out of her life? Adapt the questions to your life, your relationships, and try to find the answers.

Finally, remember that no one knows their worth better than you, and move forward by taking responsibility for your life, all your decisions and actions. Never stop believing in yourself…

You may be interested in: Fairy tale characters who give names to mental disorders

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