8 things you can do when you feel hopeless and helpless


Sometimes, as a result of the events we have experienced, we may feel that we have no expectations for the future or no desire to achieve it at the present time. Yes, the clearest explanation for this situation is “hopelessness”. You can trust that no matter what you do, think, or say, this feeling will not go away, nothing will get better. Well, what’s the point of talking about it, right?

Hope is something that we can all develop and restore, even in the most difficult situations. It definitely takes time; even a lot of effort. However, hope can be restored.

What does it mean to feel hopeless?

Despair, so to speak, is the lack of hope in your life. Hope is the wish or expectation that something better will happen tomorrow. So it’s an optimistic feeling associated with positive outcomes.

When you feel hopeless, you may think that the situation will never get better, that you will never be happy, or that you are just as utterly helpless as you are right now. All of these feelings can bring with them feelings such as sadness, apathy, and unwillingness. Sometimes it seems like it is, but you don’t know why; Sometimes the reason is clear as daylight.

Even simple daily tasks frighten you because you are overwhelmed by the burden of helplessness; Getting out of bed, taking a shower, or leaving the house can take a tremendous amount of effort. Living in despair means waking up every morning with a heaviness and exhaustion in your chest, no matter how many hours you sleep. The pain we face seems overwhelming to all of us as we go through it. The current frightening conditions can turn despair into a way of life in the long run. So how to deal with this unbearable despair?

Ways to deal with hopelessness

It is almost impossible for most people not to ask “Why” in the face of events that happen to us in life that shock us deeply. But when we start to connect with other people facing similar problems, we are faced with one truth: Every life faces tragedy sooner or later. The most painful tragedies in life happen quite by accident.

All of these thoughts and feelings, as well as the painful experiences you’ve had, will eventually bring you a deeper empathy and understanding of the suffering of others. While you don’t want anyone to get hurt, you understand that we are all equally vulnerable. Acceptance of this deep vulnerability reveals the deepest aspects of our humanity.

You are not alone in these human feelings and thoughts. Even if you cannot overcome the challenges, difficulties, and events that you face, there are resources you can use to loosen the grip of despair in your heart.

1. Express your pain, sadness

When you can’t find words to express the sadness you feel, you can always turn to poets and writers who know how to capture elusive emotions. Finding the right words for your despair gives you relief and comfort. As Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth:

“Express your sadness. The grief that does not speak whispers to the overburdened heart and invites it to break.”

2. Admit your feelings

Please don’t deny any of them when you feel surrounded by hopeless feelings. Don’t take it from you. When you acknowledge your desperation, you take on some of its power.

For example; to a friend today “I’m very sad. I think I need to be alone.” you can say. Share your feelings with loved ones instead of making yourself feel better.

3. Reflect on your thoughts

We have already said that despair comes with many unpleasant thoughts and feelings. Fear, denial and horror are just some of them. We may be disappointed in the future or suffer from various possibilities. We may even feel inner turmoil or emptiness. While it may be tempting to avoid all these negative thoughts, if done right, it is more beneficial to pay attention to them.

Some find it very useful to keep a diary for this. Writing down what you feel on a piece of paper can reduce acute stress and bring real relief. This is because writing down how we feel helps take our minds off our desperation a bit. As you reflect on your thoughts and feelings, you can ask yourself the following questions:

  • Am I focusing only on the negative? Research shows that depression and burnout can negatively impact our memory. For example, when we get angry at someone, we can only remember times when they made us sad in the past, we can erase all memories of how kind they were to us. So as you reflect on your thoughts, check to see if you are paying disproportionate attention to what went wrong. Try to think of aspects of your life that you can be grateful for right now.
  • “Am I cruel and rude to myself?”: In times of despair, we can judge ourselves very easily and quickly. We can experience self-doubt, frustration, and even worthlessness. At times like these, it is very important to find compassion for ourselves in relation to the emotions we are experiencing. If we are kind to our heartache, it will help it heal faster.

4. Share

Isolation breeds despair. Therefore, seek friendship with people who share your experience. Remember that there are people who love you, rejoice with you and grieve with you. Times of despair are when we need each other the most. Like inactivity, loneliness often makes us feel worse. We all need closeness with others to feel safe. They are also the greatest challenges, but also the greatest opportunities to deepen emotional intimacy with our loved ones.

5. Avoid toxic positivity

In some cases “Everything will be fine”, “Everything happens for a reason” Words of comfort, such as originally good intentions, are insensitive to the afflicted. A positive attitude towards life’s most destructive problems can help, but problems cannot be solved by attitude alone. When you’re facing grief that you’re having a hard time coping with, toxic positivity from others can definitely make you feel bad. You, too, can finally learn to fly with damaged wings. Despair can confuse you, but if it is properly accepted and dealt with, it can lift you even higher.

6. Trust the process

Unfortunately, there is no quick fix to transform hopelessness and despair. It will take time for your subconscious mind and problem-solving mind to function properly. Be patient. You don’t need all the answers right now, you just need to take a breath. As with any creative process, the first answers won’t be the best for you. Know that in time you will find the right answers.

7. Take your despair out for a walk

Try to get outside for fresh air once a day. A brisk walk boosts your metabolism, boosts your endorphins, and gives you much-needed peace of mind. Stress relief and vitamin D supplementation may also provide additional relief.

8. Get professional help

Please note that none of the recommendations in this article are a substitute for treatment. Hopelessness can be a symptom of a mental health problem, such as depression. So if you feel hopeless for more than two weeks, or if you have concerns about your mental health, be sure to consult a specialist.

A mental health professional can assess your needs and suggest suitable treatment options. Most mental health problems are treatable. Treatment can help you feel more hope for the future.

You may be interested in: Books on Hope: 12 Books to Get You Motivated

Sources: psychcentral, psychology today, verywellmind

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