4 Scientific Ways to Build Deep Relationships


Get ready to learn science-based answers to the question of how to make friends.

According to experts, quality relationships are the foundation of a longer, happier, and healthier life. Psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and Zen practitioner Dr. Robert Waldinger is currently conducting the longest study of adulthood ever conducted. He is the director of the 85-year-old Harvard Research on Adult Development. As part of this study, he studies more than 2,000 participants and is looking for an answer to the following question: “What does a good life depend on?” Judging by the results, our relations play a very strong role in this regard.

How to make friends?

Building and maintaining the right relationship can seem easy and possible. But if you think about it, you will realize that it is not so easy to do. Waldinger also says that we all lack something when it comes to deep social connections. And she shares some tips on how to build real and lasting bonds as adults. If “I don’t have friends, how can I make friends” If yes, then this article can help you. Here are Waldinger’s very important tips on this.

1. Don’t neglect everyday contacts

As we mentioned above, building deep relationships is extremely important when it comes to mental health. But everyday contacts can be just as important, Waldinger said. Research also shows that minimal social interaction leads to belonging and positive influence. In other words, when you interact with people you see every day but don’t know very well, such as a cashier at a grocery store, a barista at a cafe, you experience mutual positive feelings. Here is the longest study of adult development ever conducted, showing that this action is very important for experiencing a “good life.” Therefore, do not neglect daily contacts. Say hello to your neighbors. Chat with market workers. Thank the person who brought your shipment. These interactions may seem simple, but they have a more significant impact on your well-being than you might think.

2. Do what you like with other people

How to make friends, most people will give a similar answer: put yourself in your place. Therefore, if you want to make friends, you will have to put some effort into it. This is exactly what Waldinger encourages people to do: “If you put yourself in a situation where you meet the same people over and over again, you are more likely to start a conversation. You are more likely to continue or deepen these conversations.”. She also suggests finding a sense of purpose. For example, volunteering, book club; or even if you are involved in an activity that you care about, such as a bowling league, you are likely to meet people with common interests. You are naturally more inclined to elbow contact with people with whom you have common interests. That’s why Waldinger advises making friends: just find something you enjoy and consider doing it with other people.

3. Take care of online relationships too

Especially since the pandemic, more people are working from home than before. So many times you can chat with your colleagues online. Of course, this is better than no connection at all. You just need to figure out how to deepen those online relationships. Remember, technology makes you “impersonal” (you can forget that the person on the screen is just as real a person as you are). In online relationships, Waldinger says, we also have to find a way to connect — like the face-to-face conversation that naturally happens over the coffee machine in the office.

Here is a real life example of this from Waldinger: “Our Chief American Surgeon Dr. Vivek H. Murthy has launched an online meeting app. At meetings, everyone takes turns saying “something from their personal lives that they want people to know.” So people create other conversations as they know each other’s lives. It’s very simple, but provides a more personal connection, even online.”

4. Maintain existing relationships

Most of us assume that relationships will go on on their own, that they will somehow survive. However, this is a big mistake. Even the deepest, longest, most intimate relationships take effort. According to Waldinger’s research, “Similar to reasons for friendshipIt’s not that something goes wrong in the relationship. Friendship withers and dies simply because it is neglected.” speaks.

Take this as a sign to call your loved ones. Waldinger also recommends thinking about someone you haven’t seen and miss: “Pick up the phone and call him. Or send him a short message, like “I was thinking about you, so I wanted to text him.” Just do it and see what kind of feedback you get. Even this 30-second action can be a way to strengthen friendship. You can also think of it as a normal social exercise.

Don’t underestimate the power of social relationships!

How to make friendswe answered the question with expert opinions. Failure to form long-term friendships If you have such a complaint, you may not be paying attention to the above points. Social relationships are very important when it comes to longevity. Many experts agree, not just Waldinger, who has done the longest study of adulthood ever done. Relationships aimed at a long and healthy life are very, very important. So take this article as a beacon and take a step towards your social connections right now by heeding the tips!

source: mindbodygreen

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